A Comprehensive List of Non-romantic Aspects of Thru Hiking

Hiking through wilderness day after day has a certain romantic glow to it, at least while that experience sits in your mind. The reality is a little different. To paint a picture of how this life differs from the starry eyed photos you see on social media, here’s a list of all the non-romantic things. The shit, you might say...

1. Feet- There are more ways your feet can be gross than you’ve ever imagined Let me count the ways: Blisters (emphasis on the plural), monster calluses that sometimes turn into blisters, lost toenails, fungus, the spotty white patches that form after days of being in wet shoes. Then there’s dirt. The kind of dirt a baby wipe scoffs at. 
2. Sore Everything- This is not the oh so satisfying soreness that comes with a good work out. More like you’re thinking of taking a NyQuil along with that Advil so you can sleep through it. It’s pretty satisfying despite.
3. Bugs- Mosquitos, wasps, biting flies and ticks; they all just want be your friend. They’ll teach you to walk, pee and set up your tent at top speed.
4. Cat Holes- About 150 holes dug in the woods, with what amounts to a glorified spoon, to poop in. Beware the loose dirt, you aren't the first to think that’s a good spot...
5. Used Tp- Which you carry in a ziplock bag next to your glorified spoon and clean TP. Sanitary? There’s hand sanitizer in there too.
6. Smells- You smell, your things smell, your friends smell.
7. Dust- Sitting in the door of your tent at the end of the day cleaning the thick layer of dust off every exposed part of your body with baby wipes.
8. Night Time Noises- The soothing sounds of your friends crinkling sleeping pads, farting, snoring and maybe some midnight snacking.
9. Gross Showers- Regretting giving up your camp shoes to save weight as you gaze around at the grimy shower stall filled with other people’s hair. Does the fact that its free make it better...
10. Crappy Weather- Listening to the rain hit your tent at 6am and trying to motivate to go walk in it all day.
11. Laundry- Marinating in nothing but rain gear while you wash all your clothes in a dingy laundromat. Luckily you can get away with drinking a beer while you wait.
12. Lack of Privacy- Knowing all the foods that give your friend bad gas, what time of day they poop, how many days they’ve had those socks on and that they skipped a shower in the last town. And knowing they know all the same things about you. But really, that’s one of the best things as well.
    
    
    
    What did I miss?